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Collaborative Divorce - a Peaceful Alternative to Divorce

Collaborative Divorce is a Great Option

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Want to Engage In a Reasonable Divorce Process?

So you’ve decided you have to get a divorce. The marriage is no longer viable for either of you, and you need to part ways. It’s a difficult decision, and most people think the first thing to do is hire a lawyer to protect themselves against their spouse. But there is an alternative that is cost-effective, and, for couples who are still on good speaking terms, far more peaceful. It’s called collaborative divorce.

Collaborative divorce is a very specific kind of divorce process in which family law lawyers and specialists with expertise in areas related to divorce work together to help you and your soon-to-be-ex spouse get through the divorce smoothly and calmly.

Collaborative law experts include financial, accounting and divorce and parenting experts, and lawyers who have trained in specifically in collaborative law as a legal practice. The point of collaborative divorce is for both of you to come to an agreement without resorting to an adversarial divorce proceeding.

There are a ton of benefits to collaborative divorce, including:

  • You and your spouse will be able to explore and discuss your needs, concerns and goals during the divorce. This will help you discover new ways to approach conflicts and conflict resolution.
  • Collaborative divorce is private. No one – including your adult children – will be reading about your divorce in court records.
  • The lawyers and other collaborative divorce experts will recognize that you and your spouse – even though you’re divorcing – actually know what’s best for yourselves and your children, including what your relationship can tolerate, where your conflicts lie, and where you both agree and cooperate.
  • It’s not uncommon for divorcing couples to get into bad communication patterns as a result of the stress of the divorce process itself. If, however, during the collaborative divorce process you find yourself experiencing communication breakdowns, your collaborative divorce team will guide you back to healthy communication that will move the divorce process along.
  • You’ll learn a valuable life skill: how to recognize that conflict is normal when tensions and emotions run high. The collaborative divorce team can coach you both on keeping the big picture in mind.
  • Both of you will be allowed to feel safe, empowered, secure, and informed in making the right decisions for yourselves and your kids. Your focus, decisions and actions will remain reasonable as you work to resolve issues in everyone’s best interests.
  • The voluntary agreements you make in a supportive atmosphere will go a long way toward much better long-term outcomes for you, your ex, and your kids.

If you have questions regarding collaborative divorce and live in Seattle or Bellevue, Washington, call us. Our managing partner, Amanda DuBois, is an experienced family law attorney with special training in helping couples divorce using the collaborative divorce process. (206) 547-1486.

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Collaborative Divorce in Seattle: Why It’s a Great Alternative to Litigation

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Collaborative law is a process in which lawyers and specialists – financial, parenting, and others – sit down with a couple who want to divorce and then help them get through the process calmly and confidently. The point of collaborative divorce is for both parties to come to an agreement without resorting to an adversarial divorce proceeding.

Benefits of collaborative divorce process include:

1. Each party to the divorce can explore needs, concerns and goals during the divorce, discovering the best way to approach conflicts and solutions.

2. Everyone involved recognizes that people divorcing actually know what’s best for themselves and their kids, including what their relationship can tolerate, where their conflicts lie, and where agreement and harmony exist.

3. A divorcing couple experiencing communication breakdowns can be guided and then focus again on healthy communication through the help of the collaborative law team.

4. Parties learn to recognize that conflict is normal when tensions and emotions run high. The collaborative divorce team can then coach the divorcing couple on keeping the big picture in mind.

5. Participants in collaborative divorce are allowed to feel safe, empowered, secure, informed and whole in making the right decisions for themselves and their children, staying focused and acting reasonably in everyone’s best interests.

6. Voluntary agreements made in a supportive atmosphere are the best way to go and make for much better long-term outcomes for everyone involved.

7. Collaborative divorce is private.

8. The process itself, with its focus on agreement and shared outcomes, produces more peace going forward than anything a judge might order in lengthy, expensive divorce litigation.

If you have questions regarding collaborative divorce in Washington State, please feel free to contact DuBois Cary Managing Partner Amanda DuBois for an initial consultation. (206) 547-1486.

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Collaborative Divorce is an Excellent Alternative for Families

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Collaborative law offers divorcing couples a child-centered, respectful and efficient means of resolving divorce disputes. Collaborative law offers couples the advantage of heightened privacy and control over the process.

The goal of collaborative law is to help couples make decisions about divorce, child custody and other family law issues. You create the future you want for your post-divorce family and for your children.

At DuBois Cary Law Group we offer collaborative law services. I am a member of the King County Collaborative Law association and of the International Academy of Collaborative Professionals. As part of my collaborative law practice training, I completed  Title 26 Guardian ad Litem training.  I also engaged in interest-based negotiation and communication skills training.

A Collaborative Approach to Divorce

It might sound counter-intuitive, but the collaborative process is not for the faint of heart. Committing to set your emotional wounds aside and put your child’s needs first is not easy. If you are contemplating a collaborative law divorce, it is helpful to know a little more about the process.

At the start of the process, the couple agrees to some basic ground rules like these:

  • I agree to proceed in “Good Faith”. Good faith means to abide by the rules of common courtesy, keep an open mind, be willing to explore options without holding a fixed position, and share all pertinent information.
  • I agree to voice any concerns or questions about the overall process, direction, or any interactions amongst the Participants.
  • I agree to convert complaints into neutral requests to the best of my ability, and to refrain from blaming and negative assumptions based on the past behavior of my partner.
  • I agree to work productively in the “here and now” keeping everyone’s future well being in mind.

Then, the couple signs a binding contract committing to the collaborative process. As part of the agreement, the couple agrees to share and disclose all information freely. The couple commits to stay out of court and work together. They also agree to hire new counsel if the collaborative process fails because if either party chooses to stop the collaborative process, the lawyers who participated in the process are legally forbidden from further representing their clients.

Over a period of time, they work out divorce arrangements over child custody, property division and other critical legal matters. The collaborative law process usually includes help from experts – a financial specialist, a child specialist, and a divorce coach. Depending on your case, we may also work with other experts who help parents reach sound decisions.

The ultimate goal is for the couple to establish a legally binding agreement that best serves the needs of all parties.

For more information, please feel free to contact DuBois Cary partner Monica Cary at (206) 547-1486.

DuBois Cary Law Group
927 North Northlake Way
Suite 210
Seattle, WA 98103

(206) 547-1486

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