What is Collaborative Divorce in Washington State?
A Seattle Attorney Explains Divorce Without the Courtroom
Over a decade ago, Gwyneth Paltrow and Chris Martin made the phrase “conscious uncoupling” famous while the rest of us collectively rolled our eyes. Collaborative divorce is a structured legal process in Washington state though — where spouses and their attorneys commit to resolving a divorce through cooperative negotiation instead of litigation. Family lawyers were practicing it years before Goop gave the idea a headline in pop culture.
Collaborative divorce starts with a written agreement to settle disputes without going to court. With open communication and good-faith negotiation, soon-to-be-ex spouses agree to full financial disclosure and child-focused decision making. The process is intentionally designed to reduce hostility while still protecting each person’s legal, financial, and overall family interests.
“I find the divorce process to be really incredible when it’s done the right way,” says Lucia Ramirez Levias, partner at DuBois Levias Law Group (DLLG) and a specialist in collaborative divorce, on The Respectful Divorce Podcast. “You take a family that’s at rock bottom — facing some of the biggest fears of their life. What’s going to happen with my children? With my home? With my money? Then we walk them through to a brand new life that is hopefully so much healthier.” .
A Contested Divorce vs. Collaborative Divorce in Washington State
Lucia has been practicing family law for nearly 20 years. Focused on traditional litigation, family law, and divorces for the first 15, she guided clients through the typical court system. Until the pandemic hit, and she found that people seemed to be getting worse at resolving disputes.
“I was noticing a lot more conflict everywhere,” Lucia reflects. “I asked myself: what am I doing in my little part of the world, in my profession, to contribute to a higher standard of dispute resolution? How can I be part of something that allows people to figure out how to resolve disputes on their own?”
Collaborative divorce and a typical (contested or litigated) divorce in King County share the same legal floor. After one party files for divorce, there’s a 90-day waiting period. Then the hard stuff happens. Discovery. Expert investigations. Parenting plan evaluations. Child support decisions. How to divide assets and liabilities.
In severe cases, pets may experience tremors, seizures, or even fall into a coma
In traditional divorce:
- Each party hires their own counsel who is focused on the best legal outcome for their client.
- Both attorneys may hire their own experts to make their case for the most financially advantageous position for their client.
- The court may bring in a parenting investigator to meet with both parties and recommend a parenting plan to the court.
- In King County Superior Court, you get an 11-month case schedule to complete negotiations.
- You go through a required mediation session, typically one-day that lasts 8 to 12+ hours. You and your spouse are typically not in the same room.
If mediation doesn’t resolve everything, the trial date is triggered and the case may end up before a judge in a multi-day trial.
“Divorce is a scary time with a lot of uncertainty, but in a traditional divorce process, people are often most scared of a judge — somebody they don’t know who’s not part of their family — making a decision about the very things they care about most,” Lucia notes. “Basically, how do they present their case best to a stranger about how their whole life is going to be resolved? That is incredibly stressful. The threat of their spouse taking them to court is always on their mind.”
In collaborative divorce:
- Each party hires their own collaboratively trained attorney, like Lucia, who is focused on the goals and needs of the entire family to reach a durable agreement.
- You bring in a neutral financial professional, child specialists, and other experts all geared toward your collective end goals.
- You go through the divorce process in 4 to 6 structured, two-hour sessions to resolve discovery, parenting plan, child support, and division of property.
- During these sessions, you negotiate openly with the team, while keeping all the cards face up on the table.
- You get educated about the law by both attorneys (in real time) at the meetings so you can make informed decisions that are tailored for your family needs.
Under Washington’s collaborative law framework — if the process breaks down and either spouse decides to litigate, both attorneys must withdraw, and each spouse needs to hire new counsel. This disqualification clause is a deliberate design choice to make sure everyone in the room (including each lawyer) is financially and professionally motivated to make the settlement work instead of treating court as a fallback.
How Does a Collaborative Divorce Handle Finances & Parenting?
Even when divorcing, a couple often still agrees on a lot of things that matter. But the process of a litigated divorce can seem built to cause division. Families can start off with a fairly functional dynamic and end up damaged or destroyed, with hurt kids in their wake.
Contested divorce is like a game of telephone. “You’re not really talking to your spouse. You’re talking to your attorney who talks to their attorney who talks to your ex and it goes back and forth,” says Lucia. “So much gets lost in the middle.”
At DLLG, most collaborative divorces include a neutral financial professional and a divorce coach with a master’s in social work and a specialty around developing parenting plans. They provide information to both parties without bias toward one or the other.
“The coach is there to help all parties through this process because there are still emotions,” Lucia notes. “Even if you do it collaboratively, there are still some sticking points. Some hard feelings. They’re also there to help with parenting issues.”
Take figuring out the holiday schedule for example. You don’t need an oppositional attorney. That’s overkill and expensive. You need to talk about logistics and what’s going to actually work like a therapist would.
Then there’s the financial side. In a traditional divorce, each attorney might work with their own financial specialist on how to get their client exactly what they want. In collaborative divorce, a neutral financial advisor gathers all shared information, does due diligence, and offers their studied perspective on what’s possible.
“In a traditional divorce, you end up with two very different financial reports and findings,” Lucia says. “When you have one neutral expert, that person is looking out for the whole family. So they take all the financial information, lay it out in front of everybody, and say, ‘OK, here’s what we have and how we want to divide it that meets everybody’s needs.’”
What It Takes to Make a Collaborative Divorce Work
Two words: Good faith. Legally, good faith means acting with honesty, fairness, and a sincere intent to fulfill obligations without trying to undercut the other person. The couple needs to come in with a shared end goal for a healthy reality for the whole family on the other side of divorce.
“When you take court off the table, it really changes things for our clients,” says Lucia. “Now we’re not talking about things that might strategically work better for us in court. We’re not looking for the error that the other person could take advantage of. Instead, you’re in a room together and sharing openly. We can really focus on negotiating for everyone’s best interests.”
You have several divorce processes to choose from in King, Snohomish, and Jefferson Counties, and DLLG is here to guide the way, no matter what works best for your situation and family.
Talk with a Collaborative Divorce Attorney in Washington State
With offices in Seattle, Edmonds, and Port Townsend, DLLG has been helping families navigate divorce in Washington state for over 30 years. Collaborative divorce takes a specially trained attorney like Lucia — a member of the International Academy of Collaborative Professionals and affiliated with King County Collaborative Law. Let’s talk. Our intake specialist will set you up with a consultation
FAQs About Collaborative Divorce in Washington State
What is collaborative divorce and how does it work in Washington state?
Collaborative divorce is a form of alternative dispute resolution where each spouse hires a specially trained collaborative attorney, and the couple works through custody, support, and property division in structured meetings rather than in court. Neutral professionals — often a financial specialist and a divorce coach at DLLG — round out the team to support the whole family rather than just one side.
Is collaborative divorce a set legal process in Washington state?
Yes. Washington has adopted the Uniform Collaborative Law Act, giving the process formal statutory standing here rather than resting on informal agreement alone.
How is collaborative divorce different from mediation?hat are the treatment options?
Collaborative divorce works best for couples who can still communicate respectfully, even when they disagree, and who are willing to be fully transparent about their finances. It’s often a strong fit for parents who want to keep their children out of a courtroom battle, and for couples who value privacy and want more control over the outcome. It’s usually not the right choice when there’s a history of domestic violence or abuse, a significant power imbalance, or concern that one spouse is hiding assets or won’t negotiate in good faith. It also requires both spouses to opt in, because one person can’t collaborate alone. If you’re unsure, a consultation with a collaborative attorney at DLLG can help you weigh your options.
Who is collaborative divorce right for, and who isn’t it right for?
Collaborative divorce works best for couples who can still communicate respectfully, even when they disagree, and who are willing to be fully transparent about their finances. It’s often a strong fit for parents who want to keep their children out of a courtroom battle, and for couples who value privacy and want more control over the outcome. It’s usually not the right choice when there’s a history of domestic violence or abuse, a significant power imbalance, or concern that one spouse is hiding assets or won’t negotiate in good faith. It also requires both spouses to opt in, because one person can’t collaborate alone. If you’re unsure, a consultation with a collaborative attorney at DLLG can help you weigh your options.
What happens if a collaborative divorce fails in Washington?
Every collaborative case begins with a signed participation agreement. Under Washington’s collaborative law framework, if the process fails and either spouse decides to litigate, both attorneys must withdraw and each spouse must hire new counsel. That disqualification clause is intentional — it keeps everyone in the room motivated to reach settlement rather than treat court as a fallback option.
