Wow. What a weekend at Oprah’s whirlwind event – the #lifeyouwant tour. As you know, Oprah is all about teaching people how to re-imagine their lives and encourages all of us to embrace the daunting life changes necessary to create the lives we want.
Which, of course got me to thinking about our amazing Seattle and Bellevue divorce clients. Obviously, Oprah has an over-the-top inspirational life story. But so does everyone, especially those who have taken the brave leap out of a marriage, hurtling through mid-air toward single life.
It was pretty invigorating to sit in an arena with 20,000 inspired women imagining what’s next in their lives. I am absolutely positive that many of the women there were imagining what it would look like to move out of their marriages gracefully and with compassion. But as the #lifeyouwant tour speaker Elizabeth Gilbert author of Eat, Pray Love explained, the decision to take that leap into divorce is often a gut wrenching one.
Elizabeth’s transition started on her cold bathroom floor at two o’clock in the morning. She lay there realizing she was unhappy in her life, and her marriage, and she was terrified of the unknown vastness awaiting her. Everyone facing divorce experiences their own version of crossing this threshold before moving into the next act in their life.
Questions flood the mind of anyone in the midst of their virtual bathroom-floor moment: How will I support myself after divorce? Will I have enough assets to be financially secure? How will friends and family view me? Did I really fail at my marriage? Is there something I could have done to save it? How will my kids survive divorce in two households? How will I live without my kids at home with me every night? And the anxiety does nothing but continue to build as questions pile upon questions and swirl incessantly. Many of us know that familiar pit in our stomach.
This is the time to remember that knowledge is power. If you are thinking about divorce, it’s time to do your research and take charge of your life. As Oprah would say, it’s time to re-imagine your life as a happy, fulfilled, single person. How do you want your life to look? Where would you love to live? How will you take control of your finances? Start imagining your children happily adjusted to two loving households.
At DuBois Law Group, our fantastic lawyers are here to answer each and every question you have and to help you create the best possible life for yourself – after that one pesky hurdle: The divorce process. Scary, yes. But as Oprah reminds us, our biggest personal challenges are frequently experiences that we struggled mightily to get through, but that pushed us to stretch and grow in ways we couldn’t have imagined.
We even have a special planner that includes a section on creating your divorce vision. It’s the Divorce Planner. When you come in for a consultation with us we’ll give you a free copy to take home and work with. Come in and chat with one of our awesome lawyers. We can walk you through all of your “what ifs.”
And once you have a good picture of how your life could look after your divorce, it will be infinitely easier to take that scary first step. We are fully aware that this is a huge decision and we encourage you to take as long as you need to work through the process. Sometimes we work with clients for months as they refine their divorce vision, while other clients come in ready to pull the plug and get started.
There is no right way to divorce. We know that, and will stand by you as you make it through the often overwhelming legal process. Bring us the longest list of questions you can think of. The more you know, the better you can imagine the life that you wish for – the life that you can envision and make happen. We’re here to help.
By the way, here’s a link to a special YouTube video I created for you to #createyourdivorcevision.