You know who you are. You’re the one who did everything to try to stay and make it work. You’re the one who’s still a little more sad than you are mad, but something in you is driving you to make a bold change where there was once only resignation. And, now that you’re coming back into your own, you’re also starting to realize that your soon to be ex is completely nuts.
Leaving a Narcissist Is Not Impossible
The impossible can be done. You can divorce a narcissist without going to court and you can have a co-parenting relationship where your kids come first.
But, it’s going to cost you. You are going to have to give up your history together. You are going to have to forget every nasty thing you know to be true about the other person.
A New Paradigm
And, while you are chock-full of the knowledge that your soon to be ex is a total narcissist, you are going to be called upon to cultivate into reality the most far-fetched possibility of a peaceful parting. You are going to have to do this at a time when you have total resignation about the state of things. Once you’ve done that, you’re going to have to wait for your soon to be ex to catch up with your vision. Yes, it’s a tall order. But you will reap the rewards of creating a new paradigm from which to move forward.
The good news is that you don’t have to do the work of leaving a narcissist by yourself. You and your spouse can work with an experienced neutral mediator to generate a forward-thinking solution so that you can take charge of the next chapter in your life.
Use Mediation To Divorce a Narcissist
The mediator will work to reduce polarization by focusing on the present situation – instead of what’s right or wrong or what’s good or bad. That might mean telling one party that their perspective is way off, or challenging the other party to reconsider what’s driving their position on a particular topic. During mediation, you both will be given some lofty homework, like identifying your fears and your goals as you forge ahead.
You can also expect to have some practical homework, like figuring out your respective budgets moving forward. When it comes to kids, mediation is a great place to start talking and to find long-term resources to help your kids navigate these changes.
The impossible can be done. You can successfully divorce a narcissist. It happens every day. Why not start now?