• Skip to primary navigation
  • Skip to main content
DuBois Cary Law Group PLLC Logo

DuBois Cary Law Group PLLC

Compassionate Legal Representation for Northwest Families, with offices in Seattle & Bellevue

Seattle
(206)547-1486
Bellevue
(425)278-9524
  • Child Custody
    • Individualized Parenting Plans
    • International Child Custody
    • Parenting Plan Modification
    • Parental Relocation & International Moves
    • Paternity Action
    • Visitation
  • Divorce
    • Common Divorce Mistakes
    • Getting Started With Your Divorce
    • Contested Divorce
    • Dividing Property
    • High Asset Divorce
    • Divorce Over 50
    • Divorce for Men
    • Spousal Maintenance (Alimony)
  • Divorce Alternatives
    • Divorce Rescue 911
    • Mediation
    • The Amicable Divorce Process
    • Collaborative Divorce
    • Legal Coaching
  • Estate Planning, Wills & Probate
    • Estate Planning After Divorce
    • Estate Planning for Unmarried Couples
    • Estate Planning: Wills & Probate Glossary
  • Family Law for Unmarried Couples
    • Cohabitation Agreements
    • Prenuptial Agreements
  • Client Resources
    • Listen to our Radio Shows
      • The Divorce Process
        • Divorce 101: How to Get the Process Started
        • How To Handle the Physical Stress of Divorce
        • Temporary Orders & Motions: What Happens Between Separation & Final Divorce Papers
        • How to Choose a Divorce Attorney
        • How to Settle Your Divorce
        • Everything You Need to Know About Going to Trial in A Divorce
        • What You Need to Know About Divorce Mediation & Alternative Dispute Resolution
        • Divorce Issues That Might Surprise You
      • Child Custody & Child Support Issues
        • Children & Divorce: Kids Need Time with Dad
        • What About the Kids: How Courts View Divorce, Child Custody & Parenting Plans
        • Kids & Divorce: Parenting Plans & Residential Schedules
        • International Custody & Immigration Issues: An Interview With Shannon Underwood
        • The Ins & Outs of Child Support
      • Divorce & The Older Person
        • Divorce After 50 (Silver Divorce)
        • Silver Divorce & Women’s Health After 50
      • Divorce & Real Estate Issues
        • Divorce & How it Affects Real Estate: An Interview with Heidi Bateman
      • Divorce & Finance
        • Money & Finances During Divorce: An Interview with Karen Ramsey
      • Divorce & Work Issues
        • Employment Law & Divorce with Guest Sean Phelan
      • Post-Divorce Issues
        • Long Distance Parenting
    • Recommended Reading
    • Case Studies in Family Law, Divorce & Child Custody
  • Our Firm
    • Amanda DuBois
    • Monica Kaup Cary
    • Lucia Ramirez Levias
    • Desirée Good
    • Mei Shih
    • Jessica Rullman
    • Freya Wormus
    • Our Paralegals
    • Committed to Personal Service
  • Contact Us
    • Seattle Office Directions
    • Bellevue – Redmond Office Directions
  • Show Search
Hide Search
Home/Bellevue Divorce/How To Ask The Right Questions About Your Divorce

How To Ask The Right Questions About Your Divorce

Watch my video on How to Ask the Right Questions About your Washington state Divorce here.

Are you thinking about getting a divorce in Seattle or in Washington State?

Are you asking yourself the wrong questions about your divorce? Most people do!

Are your questions about your divorce getting hijacked by emotionalism and anger, or are you asking questions from a calm and focused mind that leads you to the results you wish to achieve?

It’s time to take the focus off your ex-spouse and place it where it belongs — on you and your future.

Good results in your divorce depend on asking good questions. It’s just that simple.

Let me give you a couple of examples:

I have many clients, for instance, who come into my office, and ask me, “How can I make him or her pay?”

When a client comes into my office often times their whole goal is to get back at their spouse: “He’s going to pay for what he’s done to me and my family. I don’t want her to ever see the children. I want him to pay the price for what he’s done.”

If you are asking these questions, you’re heading in the wrong direction. “How do I make that person pay?” is focusing all of your attention on him or her and the behavior. And if you’re heading into a divorce, you need to focus on yourself, your children, your own well-being and your financial future.

You need to be asking questions that focus on yourself and your emotional health. You need to be asking questions about your future, and to focus your mind on where you intend to be when the divorce is over.

Questions like: What is really best for my children? What can I do to prepare myself for a career or job after my divorce? What can I do to be optimally prepared for my divorce?

You really have to start gathering information and reading information about what’s best for your children and what’s best for you.

You need to get financially savvy. You need to make sure you can support your family. You need to make sure you can get a job or you have a good enough job or you can get enough hours at your job so that you can be in a better financial position to weather the storm that’s coming, which might be incredibly difficult.

So rather than focusing on your soon-to-be-ex-spouse, and rather than focusing on “Can she do this?” and rather than focusing on “Can he take my kids away?’ and rather than focusing on “How can I make her pay?”, this is the time for you to take care of yourself, put all of your attention on yourself, gather a team of people around you, figure out how you’re going to approach this divorce and come up with a vision for not only how you see your divorce playing out, but how you see your life after your Seattle divorce playing out.

Focus on you, and view the positives even though it may be difficult to see them through the emotions and anger you may be feeling. Dealing from a position of emotionalism and anger is dealing from a position of weakness because you are not in control.

Do you want to be a pillar of strength, calm and power through this, or do you want to be ruled by things you can’t control? That is the decision you must make in order to truly get the results you want in your divorce.

Seattle Family Law Attorneys and Seattle Divorce Attorneys

Main Office serving Seattle, Bellevue, Redmond, Kirkland, Mercer Island

DuBois Cary Law Group, PLLC
927 North Northlake Way
Suite #210
Seattle WA 98103

Phone: (206) 547-1486

Written by:
Amanda DuBois
Published on:
April 17, 2013

Categories: Bellevue Divorce, Bellevue-Redmond Divorce, Divorce, Redmond Divorce, Seattle DivorceTags: divorce team, divorce vision, life after divorce

DuBois Cary Law Group

Footer

The information you obtain at this site is not, nor is it intended to be, legal advice. You should consult an attorney for advice regarding your individual situation. We invite you to contact us and welcome your calls, letters and electronic mail. Contacting us does not create an attorney-client relationship. Please do not send any confidential information to us until such time as an attorney-client relationship has been established.

Copyright DuBois Cary Law Group PLLC © 2021 · · Log in

WSAJ Eagle Member