Our firm sees a lot of clients just after the holidays and we want to say one thing: our hats are off to each and every one of you for not serving your spouse with divorce papers during the holidays. It takes guts, compassion and a clear head to make the decision to divorce, have a strong need to get started, but then wait and get through the festivities for the sake of your kids, your family and your future.
You’ve figured out that as frustrated and ready to get out of the marriage as you may be, it’s not worth it to begin a divorce during the holidays. Waiting until after the New Year spares everyone in the family for years to come because it keeps the holidays a family time, not a divorce time.
Here’s what you may have avoided:
- You might have hurt the feelings of your entire extended family and angered your soon-to-be-ex by serving divorce papers during the holidays.
- Now you don’t have to be reminded of your divorce every time the holidays roll around – you get to enjoy that time instead.
- You spared your children the pain of associating what is usually one of the best weeks of the year with an emotionally difficult experience. That is a true gift.
The better way to use holiday time if you’re thinking about divorce is to plan for a divorce after the New Year. Since you’ll have time at home over the holidays, if you really have decided you must divorce, use that time to reflect on your goals as the newly single person you’re going to be again.
Think about how much you love your kids and how you’re going to help them through all of this. Read up on how to help kids cope with divorce. Gather your paperwork together and organize it. Reflect on the good times you’ve had in your marriage and give yourself permission to be okay with your decision. Revisit the family finances and make sure you understand what is going on. And consult with an attorney quietly, so that you can begin divorce proceedings in an intelligent, compassionate and educated way. And let the holidays remain the holidays – for everyone.