Astronomical Egosand Empty of Empathy: What to Know About Divorcing Someone with Narcissistic Tendencies

Two wooden figures, one reaching out to another who is focused on their reflection in a mirror

Divorcing someone with narcissistic tendencies is sure to complicate an already complicated and emotionally fraught process. Facing a soon-to-be ex-partner who has a heightened sense of self-importance, lack of empathy, and manipulative behaviors can suck the life and soul out of you, leaving you feeling powerless and defeated. But listen – you are not powerless. With the right legal support, you can protect yourself and your children from the damage that narcissistic behavior can cause. 

DuBois Levias Law Group lawyers have years of experience dealing with high-conflict divorces and can help re-balance control in or out of court. But there are other things to consider as you begin the process of separation. Here are five things you should know when divorcing someone with narcissistic tendencies.

You cannot control them.

Listen. People with narcissistic tendencies demand power and control, and they will do whatever it takes to maintain it. You can only control yourself, so focus on that and let the rest go. Consider using our free tool, the “Divorganizer,”  to help you identify your values and how to incorporate them into your life now and into the future.

Don’t take it personally.

Remember that your spouse’s behavior is not a reflection of your worth or value. Narcissists, or people that act like them, have a distorted view of reality and often project their own insecurities onto others. Don’t take their insults or attacks personally. Instead, focus on your own self-worth and surround yourself with people who support and uplift you.

Protect yourself and your children.

Unfortunately, we’ve seen one case too many where a narcissistic partner tries to smear reputations or make false accusations. It’s hurtful, it’s manipulative, and it’s total bs. Our attorneys can help you navigate the legal system and protect your rights. If you have children, prioritize their needs and make sure they are safe and protected from the conflict.

Don’t get sucked into the drama.

A person with narcissistic tendencies thrives on conflict and drama, so don’t engage with their attempts to start fights or arguments. Keep your emotions in check and focus on communicating in a calm and respectful manner.

Prioritize your own healing.

When the divorce is over, you’ve got to focus on your own healing. Divorcing someone that you love(d) with narcissist tendencies can be incredibly traumatic and emotionally draining. Take the time you need to heal and process your emotions. Seek out therapy or support groups if you need them. You made it through this, and you are back in your power.