I get it. I’m also a woman. I own a business. It’s a divorce litigation firm. And I’ve helped countless woman business owners make it through the divorce transition. On top of the daily demands of running a business. Talk about having a lot on your plate.
Divorce is basically a project. It needs careful planning, a budget, project management, and acceptable results. But it’s about more than hitting a financial target. It’s crazy emotional. If you’re a woman business owner anticipating a divorce, you need information and education. And some great support.
You’ll be negotiating. But this negotiation is unlike any other. The negotiations will likely be clouded by feelings of sadness, or anger, or uncertainty, and sometimes a feeling of failure. Yes, you’ll be using the skills you’ve honed over the years, but you’re going to need help. Lots of it. You need an experienced, agile, responsive legal team. You need your lawyer’s cell number. (Because “life” usually happens after hours, as you well know). You’ll need to be able to text at all times of day, and get a relatively prompt response.
In some ways you can use your experience as a multitasking detail-oriented business woman to get you through your “year of divorce.” But at the same time, you’ll probably feel frail and unknowledgeable. If you’ve been in business a while, you know the drill: “I can figure this out…I’m smart and capable…all I need to do is break this down into manageable pieces….” It’s worked for you before and these skills will certainly come in handy as you head into the coming months. You actually do know how to do this. You just have to start thinking about it the right way. And you need to gather a team who can help you deal with the volatile emotional roller coaster you are embarking on.
What you’ll need help with, especially if you have kids, is keeping your head on straight during the rough emotional patches that divorce is going to throw at you. You’ll need to stay clear-headed for yourself, your kids and your career – all during the time you are embroiled in the most important negotiations of your life: your kids and your financial future.
You need friends who can help you see beyond the issue of the moment and remind you who you are and that you can do this. You may need a therapist. And you for sure need a lawyer and a legal team with the requisite experience and commitment to you and your kids.
I’m here to help. And we have our office structured so that there will always be a team member, very familiar with the intricacies of your case to respond when you need us. We’ll talk or text late at night. We’ll meet you for a latte. We’ll have meetings at your office, if that’s more convenient for you. We’ll help you arrange for extra help around the house if you need it.
If you have kids, we’ll refer you to parenting specialists. And we’ll protect your children with all legal means available so that they won’t have to be in the middle of your separation and divorce anymore than is absolutely necessary.
We’ll educate you about how to protect your business and accumulated investments so that you can make the best possible decisions. Our team of consulting CPAs and business specialists will prioritize your case. We’ll figure out what you brought into the marriage that belongs solely to you and we’ll get your business valued in as fair a way as possible.
If necessary, we’ll also assure that your spouse obtains a vocational evaluation so he or she can become gainfully employed, reducing your spousal maintenance obligation.
Here’s the hardest part about being a successful business women/mother going through a divorce: In “traditional” (whatever that means) divorces the husband was the primary breadwinner and the mother was the primary parent. The breadwinner had to let go of money and the primary parent had to let go of the kids. But over the years, I’ve learned that many women who are the primary breadwinners in their families are also the primary parent. So…that parent is faced with giving up not only the kids but money as well. And it really doesn’t feel fair. We understand this dilemma and are standing by to support you through this process.
With proper education and support from a seasoned and caring legal team, this is all doable. It takes time, grit, and determination, but you already have those things or you wouldn’t be where you are today. And like all successful projects, when the results are in and you find yourself free of a loveless or difficult marriage, you’ll be able to move on, to love again, and to look forward into the life you want.